Many challenges in open relationships can be alleviated by building a supportive non-monogamous community outside of one’s partner(s). Whether it’s codependency, fear of social stigma, lack of someone to discuss relationship issues with, or feeling lost in how to navigate an open relationship, these struggles are often rooted in the absence of a strong community. We’ve learned about love within community, and growth out of compulsory monogamy and healing relational wounds will also happen there.

This conversation explores how polyamorists experience gendered challenges in heterosexual dynamics. (I’m read as woman-presenting and feel comfortable engaging in discussions from that perspective). Our analysis is based on conversations with many men- and women-presenting individuals about dating the opposite sex/gender and the judgments that come with it. Romantic relationships are still heavily shaped by compulsory monogamy, which pathologizes any deviation from its norms. While polyamory is